Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I want to photograph you with my mind, To feel how I feel now all the time

Gentle. Compassionate. Loving.

The fact that I am 25 years old, and you still slip me money when no one is looking, speaks volumes to the amazing man that you are. When I was 16 it was for movies with friends, nights after football games at Applebees, accessories at teenage stores like Claire's. In college, at 20, it was for laundry, money to put on my card, for the coffee shop and for midnight snacks, sometimes for dollar drafts. Now, at 25, living on my own, making my own money, it's for gas, for a weekend away with friends, for groceries and rent, sometimes a martini or three.

Thoughtful. Tolerant. Affectionate.

When I look at you, inevitably, at some point during our visit, my eyes will fill up. I am completely overtaken with emotion. With love. So much that I cannot hold it in sometimes. You are, the most precious, genuine, kindest man I have ever known.

Patient. Cherished. Adored.

You are an amazing husband. I see the way that you look at her, the way you smile and listen to her, even though sometimes I know you can't always make out exactly what it is she's saying. She speaks softly, and you can't always hear her. I see the way you pull out her chair for her, then tuck her into the table. How you hold the arm of her coat as she slides her arm in, adjusting her just right. The way you pour her coffee and prepare it just so, and how you tell her to take more food on her plate, that she should eat all she wants. The support you give her, the encouragement. The admiration that is so very evident in your blue eyes for her. Your care and concern that she is protected and well taken care of. Your amazing, overflowing love for your precious wife.

Gracious. Happy. Sincere.

You are a wonderful father. I see the way your eyes light up when your three daughters are with you. I hear how you talk to their significant others, accepting them unconditionally. I see how you have tremendous pride in them. I catch you looking at them, when they are not looking at you. And I see the way your face lights up at that moment. The joy and genuine concern you take in their lives. The way you embrace them, not just physically, but emotionally, and in all ways really, unconditionally and always.

Cheerful. Exceptional. Funny.

You are, simply the best grandfather ever. I cannot imagine my childhood, and now my adult life, without you being a part of it. The way you slip me that money. How you tell me that I will always be your girl as you squeeze my hand. How you say to me, that you like my shoes, and comment that I'm a "hot ticket." How you show genuine interest in my life, my friends, my job, and anything that I'm pursuing. How you ask if I will always be your Valentine. The way you make me feel like the most special person ever when I'm with you. The love that I feel when I'm with you and around you, near you and beside you.

I am so lucky.

You are the most giving, kindest, most genuine, humble man that I will ever know. Your love for your family and your friends just fill my heart to the brim. You are amazing. And wonderful. And really any word in the thesaurus for extraordinary and special and sweet and caring and charismatic, it's all you. I cannot even write this without tears filling up, because I have an uncontrollable abundance of love, admiration, and honor for you. And I just can't keep it all in.

I think of you all the time. When I'm with you and when I'm not even, I think of you. I think of you as I have known you throughout my lifetime. I think of you and who you were when I never even knew you. What you were like at my age. How you were as you courted my grandmother. What kind of a son and brother you must have been. What you are doing on a Friday night while I am sipping wine, out to dinner with friends. What you did today. What you're eating for dinner tonight. What you and she are doing, right now. What you're watching on tv, and what book you are currently reading. What you are wearing and how sharp you look. Yes, I said sharp. How you have a way of touching every single person's life who you encounter, and how truly profound that is.

And I don't know if you realize this. How completely and truly wonderful you are. You have to know you are loved, because I have a feeling my words here, would be nodded and echoed by those whose lives you have touched. You are an amazing man. I feel I cannot say it enough. I think that if I repeat that, these words and these thoughts, over and over, how much I love you, how much you mean to me, how purely genuine and special you are, that maybe, just maybe, that will just keep you around here forever.

You need to be around forever. A life without you is completely unimaginable, unfathomable really.

You need to be around forever. And ever. Forever, and ever and ever.


M said...

oh god i got teary when i read this, both because grampy IS so precious and i am so happy that you have a man like that in your life, but also becuase, pretty much word for word, it's exactly how i feel about my dad...!!!!

k.r.i.s.t.e.n. said...

aw, that's so nice. grandparents are the best.

brooke alexandra said...

I really enjoyed reading this. Grandparents ARE the best!

PeeJ said...

Wow, fantastic description. That's love that is, purely and simply put into words.


Aaron said...

Don't write us. Write him (while you still can). Share this with him. Seriously. It may be embarassing initially, but he'll appreciate you all the more.

e.b. said...

That was very sweet and so touching. I wish I had such a close relationship with mine.

d said...

I've never written a comment to you yet, but I check in from time to time and I'm glad I saw this. I really teared up when you were talking about his relationship with your grandmother - If we could all be so lucky! Your family is amazing and and so are you. So glad to have you as a best friend :) Love you always!

DCVita said...

That was beautiful!

brookem said...

m- thank you for commenting! your dad is WONDERFUL. AND SO ARE YOU. ILY

kristen and brooke- thank you- the absolute best, ever.

peej- thank you buddy!

aaron- you think? maybe one day. he will be 80 next year... hmm.. birthday surprise?

eb- thank you. i am so, so very lucky.

d- aww, thank you so much for stopping by and commenting, and for the wonderful words. ily.

dcvita- thank you so much. i really enjoyed writing it.

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful brookem, you should send it to him. Today. Don't wait for his bday or whatever. You're lucky to have a grandpa like this.

perturbed_squirrel_chaser said...

Sounds like an amazing man! My grandpa was my best friend when he was around. I think you should write this down in a letter and mail it to him, or tell him in person if you haven't already. I think everyday of all the things I wish I would have said to my grandfather before he passed. I know he knew deep down and the things we did for eachother always made that clear. I hope someday I have the priviledge of crossing paths with such a great man as your grandfather sounds.

perturbed_squirrel_chaser said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trina said...

I didn't read this one till now. Grampy is so precious! Enough to make me teary. Cute.