I carried a watermelon

The other night, I carried a watermelon. Well, not literally. My girlfriends and I use the "I carried a watermelon" phrase to describe a situation where we probably didn't say the best thing. A foot in mouth kind of thing. Where you say something, quickly, either in response to a question or even as a conversation starter. But what you say isn't smooth. And really not suave, not in the very least. Actually, you end up feeling like an idiot, and probably sound like one. It's that, did I really just say that, outloud? feeling of embarrassment. You know what I'm talking about.

Ok, maybe you don't know what I'm talking about. So I'll setup the scene of the phrases origination, and even post a little visual aid as well. It's about 4:00 minutes in. But watch the whole scene, because who doesn't love Dirty Dancing?

Baby goes into the staff quarters with Johnny's cousin. To get in there she well, carries a watermelon. Johnny's cousin is juggling two up the walkway, when Baby walks by, sees him struggling, and offers to help. Cousin tells Baby she can't go with him, she talks him into it, and they enter the staff quarters where everyone is, well, dirty dancing. Johnny notices cousin and Baby standing on the side of the dance floor, and is all, "Yo, cuz, what's she doin' here?" Cuz says she's with him, and Baby says the first thing that comes to mind, blurting out, "I carried a watermelon." Johnny just looks at her, in his too many unbuttons undone white shirt, and says nothing, and walks (dances?) away. Then we see Baby, mocking herself saying, "I carried a watermelon?" In complete disbelief that she actually just said that, to him, out loud.

Now go ahead, watch for yourself:

That's the scene in the movie. Baby thinks Johnny is cute, she gets nervous, and says the first thing that comes to mind. Which is exactly what I did the other night.

If you haven't heard of Jim Bianco, you must. Google him. Download him. Make him your screensaver or wallpaper. I did. If I had to say my "type" of guy, it's him. His clothing, his hair, his whole way. His body and his vibe. Man, and his voice. His sweet, raspy voice. And he plays the guitar. Lord knows I'm a complete sucker for a guy who can play the guitar.

He has toured with the likes of Joshua Radin, Joe Purdy, Rachel Yamagata, Kate Havnevik, Cary Brothers, Schuyler Fisk, Imogen Heap, and Gary Jules. I saw him this fall at the Hotel Café tour and when I saw he was in the area again I couldn't miss the opportunity.

Much as I couldn't miss the opportunity, after his amazing set, to scope him out in the back of the lounge, and go up to him, to say something. I had no idea what. Nothing that came to mind seemed even the least bit appropriate. I don't usually get nervous, generally, around guys. About what to say or do or whatever. But this was different. He is so talented, and so incredibly good looking. I was totally into his performance and HIM, so I had to take this chance to at least say... something.

You were good. That is what I said as I "pretended" to walk to the ladies room and accidentally "noticed" him on the way there. Yeah. I carried a fucking watermelon. Who says "you're good?" And that's pretty much all I said. He smiled, nodded. I got fidgety and put my hands in my pocket and touched my hair too much. I quickly went on to tell him that I had seen him at the other tour, and that they were good then too. He smiled, but didn't say anything. I was Baby and he was Johnny. Then he looked up, asked my name, and extended his hand. Yes! We touched. I introduced myself to his band member buddy, and told them, for the third time, that they did a really good job.

And I carried a watermelon. Sure, I sounded completely dumb and nervous and I looked fidgety. Maybe that's just me. Around someone like that. I couldn't help myself. But at least I got to meet Jim Bianco. Even if I was a Baby about it.