Wednesday, June 27, 2007

nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

There are those certain times, that while you're living them, you just know you want to make a conscious effort to tuck away a part of that memory, that moment. Etch it into your mind, your heart. The way she smiled during that conversation, the sweetness of that kiss outside in the rain, the way it felt to finally say what you wanted to say to him. There are those specific moments, snippits of time, that you can just feel it. Feel the need to really embrace it and be there with it, take it all in as much as you can. Because before you know it, the moment will be gone. You know right then and there that you need to make a yourself remember it. And then you find, that not only have you remembered the moment, but you have the details. The color of the place mat at her kitchen table and how the seat cushion was starting to fray just a spec. The way the rain was starting to trickle down the driveway and form a puddle by your feet. What you were wearing when you told him that you needed a little space that cool day in March.

There are other times, when perhaps you weren't thinking that this is one of these times, those things that you should for sure, tuck away, keep close, to remember down the road. Sometimes they're sneaky, these memories. You'll be sitting in your bed at night listening to Rachel Yamagata, and find yourself remembering the way his hand fit in yours. How he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed your cheek.

Time goes by, life happens. Before you know it you're sitting on the couch at 11:30pm on a weeknight, drinking beers with good friends, rehashing the remember-when's of a couple years ago. The time that you're apartment had a flood and you all stayed in a hotel for the night. When relationships were new and your best friend couldn't eat (and let's be frank, neither could you, by association) because she had that "I'm gonna shit" feeling that you get when a new guy is in the picture.

As we grow older, and life changes happen, we realize that what is, right now, might not be, in a month. Or a year. Being able to sit around and shoot the shit with good friends, drinking beers with no reserve, with no big obligations other than feeding a new kitty can sometimes be taken for granted. If you let them.

When you sit back and think of the times, perhaps a year ago, maybe five years ago or more, when things were so different than they are now, it helps to put things in perspective. Because when you're say, ten, and you want to go play outside on the swings with your best friend across the street, and you misplace a jelly shoe, that is the biggest thing in your life. That's big happenings and thinking about it now makes you realize that you had it so easy then.

Which makes you think about the present. The way things are, right now. And how quickly things can, and do change. Because five years from now, you and your best friends probably won't have the luxury to just meetup over American Idol and margaritas. People will marry, and move, and make babies. Some of you already have. It makes you grateful and appreciative for what is, right now, this instant. The small moments that pass between friends and loved ones. Soft touches and glances across the room. Shopping at Target for three hours on a Tuesday night.

Realizing that things won't always be this way, and could very possibly change at any moment, makes you just that much more appreciative of it right as it's happening. Right now.


Michelle said...

Well written! I love hanging out with friends and going over the 'remember whens.' Especially those friends that you've known since before you grew boobs. I also love sharing memories with my sister - we used to do some pretty funny stuff when we were really little. But you're right, it's greatest enjoying the RIGHT NOW. Time can fly by so fast!

JustRun said...

Phew! Well said. This comes at a good time for me, and I know just what you mean.

appletini said...

You are so right! I think many times we take our lives for granted...... then we read posts like this one and it makes us remember :)

Bre said...

Amen! It's the right nows that make life so truly wonderful!

Airam said...

What a fantastic and insightful post Brookem. I made a comment on another blog a few months back when she wrote about something similar. Basically I said that this is what is known as "stopping to smell the roses."

It's so easy to just take for granted what you have right now ... this is why it's so necessary to just stop and see what's right in front of you. Just to appreciate it.

angel, jr. said...

The right nows will also become remember whens. It's good to live in both, depending on the situation.

K.I.D. said...

Great post. Life always evolves, and I always seem to forget that!

brandy said...

Well done Brookem, I enjoyed this.

Anonymous said...

I don’t know why, but your post made me want to cry. You have talent girl. Are you pursuing this gift you so obviously possess? I hope so… because although blogging is therapeutic and that is wonderful in itself, your writing could certainly be on more than just these sites. ;)

egan said...

Brookem, this is one your best posts to date I've read. I like vibe of this entry. As someone about to move into a different phase of life, I can relate. Enjoy the now! That really is what it's all about. Ten sure was a great age in my mind.

Hey, who takes three hours to shop at Target? What are you buying? Again, fantastic writing!

2xA+r0n said...

Funny how life works. Last year, you were a complete bum. This year, you're going to do a triathlon. Good going. :P

"When relationships were new and your best friend couldn't eat (and let's be frank, neither could you, by association) because she had that "I'm gonna shit" feeling that you get when a new guy is in the picture."
Please elaborate on this. I want to hear about this I'm-gonna-shit-feeling women get when their BFFs get a new boyfriend.

Beth said...

I've always heard that youth is wasted on the young partly because when we are young, we don't take the time to appreciate things.

This was so beautifully written. Thanks for reminding me to take the time to stop and smell the roses and appreciate those little moments in life.

Kimberly said...

there is just so much life to be lived that sometimes i get too hung up on rushing to the next thing and forget to just be where I put it very well!

undercover celebrity said...

I was just thinking the same thing the other day. I got home from work and the sun was still so high in the sky that I threw my bikini on and headed to the pool -- laid out and read my book for an hour or so. And it dawned on me that someday when I have a husband and kids, I'm not going to get to do spontaneous, indulgant things like that. Aaaahhhh, enjoying the now. :)

brooke alexandra said...

STOP! ENOUGH! I'm bawling my eyes out. The post is amazing and amazingly written, but wow, did it ever stike a nerve with me. Perspective hit me like a bitch this week and it scared the shit out of me. I want to be 10 again, looking for my lost jelly.

brookem said...

michelle- i can imagine it has a whole different, really cool feel, to rehash this stuff with your sibling. there's a song called "right now" too, right?

justrun- i'm glad it came at a good time for you my friend.

appletini- it is quite easy to let ourselves get wrapped up in the daily mundane, or something silly or stupid. i think it's really important to truly try and live in the moment, being grateful for what we do have, RIGHT NOW.

bre- right on!

airam- i couldn't agree more. stopping to smell the roses is what it's all about.

angel jr- exactly. i love thinking about the remember whens. good to show where you've been and where you've come.

kid- thank you for stopping by!

brookem said...

brandy- well being that we tend to write about similar things at the same time, and then get compared to one another, i take that, from YOU, as a big compliment.

desiree- and now, your comment to me? made me want to cry. how very sweet of you! honestly, that is quite the compliment, and i thank you very much. i'd love to pursue writing in some way. i've taken a couple classes and am seeing what else is out there. your new class sounds just awesome?!

egan- thank you, friend. i know you love ten. living in the now is really where it's at. oh i could go on and on with my target adventures. i get stuck in the card aisle for a long time. the book and cd section get me too. and sometimes, randomly? the container area. i love thinking of what i could use all these contraptions for. and the picture frames. and bedding. okay, clearly perhaps this is a post for another day. you asked!

aaron- the i'm gonna shit feeling? oh, i know it all too well. it's just the newness/butterfly feeling that a girl gets when she meets a new guy. if you're with your bff when she's experiencing this newness, butterfly business, it's easy to feel it too. for her. with her. the excitement of it all. hopefully that shed some light for ya.

beth- i have heard that too. but i guess it's nice to be able to look back, in hindsight, with fond memories of those swingset kid days. although i didn't probably recognize it then, i realize now how simple and carefree things were then.

kimberly- i do the same thing. it's so easy to do. thinking ahead and being all psyched about "what's next." believe me, i have to remind myself to keep an eye on this tendency too!

undercover celeb- exactly! ten years from now, i probably?, wont be able to bust out of my home to meet a friend at 11pm for a random chai. you never know though. but that's why it's important to just do what you want, when you want.

brookelyn- oh my, you're crying. if you are going to cry then i'll probably cry, and we'll get ourselves into a little cycle here. perspective can be scary, but it can be scary in a gooood way too, no? london, here you come?! in like, a month? you lucky shit you.

ruby said...

Its always good to take a second to enjoy the moment and be grateful for all that you have! The 'remember whens' are fun too! Nicely written!

Tbone said...

Well said...and I know exactly what you mean. Life goes on and you roll with the punches.

egan said...

You don't know what those contraptions are for? Three hours in a Target is an inordinately long time to spend in there. Do you fall asleep in the dressing room or something?

ARM said...

This is a wonderful post, Brookem. It really moved me and brought tears to my eyes thinking that you're right...things won't always be the same and to not take advantage. Excellent stuff

Oh, and totally understand the 3 hours in a Target. Or a barnes & noble.

Logophile said...

Ah yes, live in the now.
You said it way better though.
You never know when things are going to change, and if that change will be for the better or the worse, but we all have right now, and we can all enjoy that.