Wednesday, January 24, 2007

enough

That little situation, that I felt "ready" to write about? Well it hasn't really gotten better, or resolved one way or the other. The whole ball that dropped was that I found out that he and his girlfriend are now living together. The catch is, I still, have not, heard this news from him. I've heard it from everyone but him. His sister, his grandparents, his best friends, his mom. I'm not kidding. It's everyone, but it's not him. And that's what gets me the most. That given the relationship/non-relationship we had, it would make sense to me, well, that he tell me. And okay, he's "busy" and he "just got a new car" and he's "helping her move in" and he "hasn't thought about telling me"... but come on? You cannot tell me that he can't be assuming that I haven't heard, by now. It's been, almost three weeks since I heard the news, not from him. Oh, I already mentioned that.

So I figured, my options were simple. Either, keep on keeping on, like this. Being frustrated, kind of angry, hurt, and upset, and say nothing about it to him, while I wait. OR, I could say something. It's that simple. I knew it would have to be over email, because I couldn't do the phone call thing right now, too much. I'm one who tends to believe that there is no use in complaining about something that you are unhappy with, if you aren't making any steps to change the circumstances. So, I think I have had my allowed sad time. Then it was the frustrated period and the kind of ticked off stage. And now, it's the had it stage. So I had to do something. I couldn't complain about something I wasn't going to do anything about, any longer.

And so I emailed him. After lots of thought, back and forths of should I? and is it worth it? I decided I have to, and yes. I couldn't just continue to wait and wait, and say nothing about this, anymore. My intention was to try and be direct and to the point. Not overly friendly, but not bitchy either. Blunt and clear. Finally letting him know that this news is hurtful, yet none the less, if it's what brings him happiness, then for that I am happy.

I guess now it's more of the waiting game. When he'll read it and what he'll say. At least I finally got it out there though. Sucks it didn't come from him to begin with and I needed to drag it out of him. But really, enough is enough.

Is enough.

7 comments:

Aaron said...

If enough is enough, you're not going to give it any more thought, right?

Right?

e.b. said...

Good for you.

I so always need closure, I can't just walk away from something without the final word or a final thought. I would have done the same thing and regardless of his response (because you kind of already know what it is going to be) you have the closure you need.

brookem said...

Aaron- I can't NOT give it more thought. I'm bad at shutting off thoughts, although getting better. I'll consciously try to think about it less but it's not easy. It just isn't.

eb- totally, I always need some sort of closure. It's not that this will be the end of him and I. It is just the end of what we once had. We'll still be friends, in some (different) way now. We'll just have to see how it all pans out. I guess I'll see, in time.

Ally said...

Why do guys think they are doing us a favor when they essentially lie (by ommitting a pretty important life step from conversation) to us about something we're going to find out about? I've watched so many guys do this, and they end up damaging the friendship (after the relationship) because ommissions end up making things a bigger deal than they have to be--b/c then there's the issue of dishonesty and what kind of friendship do we really have.

So anyway I'm proud of you for taking the step of bringing it up instead of simmering about it. Good for you!

Joy said...

I'll be back to comment. Cheer up..

Tag, you it!

1 peanut said...

I'm going to re-read and comment also, but I justwanted you to know the Tag was 5 things you've never posted.
It doesn't have to positive things.
thank god ;)

1 peanut said...

good for you, at least you got how you felt out there instead of inside eating away at you.