Tuesday, January 16, 2007

time and practice

Clearly, my last couple of posts haven't been all too upbeat. They've been downright... downers. Last week, I was wallowing in the throws of it all, feeling bad about the current situation I was in, what had happened, how it had all went down, and I just didn't have anything all too good, or positive to write about.

It's times when I write about that stuff that I wonder, how much anonymity should I have on here? I could have very well not been so vague about what was going on. Could have said what happened, why I was upset. On this blog, I have never really said my first name, although others have, in reply to some of my posts. I haven't said where I live, where I grew up, anything much about the siblings I don't have, or the job I'm not too thrilled with. There hasn't been anything really specific so that if you were a semi acquaintance, you'd think this was me. And sometimes I wonder, whether I should talk more about that stuff, more of the meat, less of the fluff. I wonder really, what would be the big deal if people did recognize me from here? There's nothing I'm really hiding. But sometimes, I think, I wouldn't want T to see THIS POST, or C to see THIS. But why? What's the big deal? So some of this is probably news to them, but what's the biggie? And aren't I just being honest, and isn't honesty the best thing? Hmm... I wonder. How much is too much? How much isn't really enough? (When) will people, will I, become bored with my writing, and look at it more as just observations and sometimes random thoughts of a regular girl, some laughs and some tears, but feel that all this, is lacking in depth?

Maybe it's still just a lot of the newness of it. Still getting my feet wet with all if this. I started this blog as a way to work on my writing. To have a log to look back on, to see where I've been, how far I've come, and what I've learned along the way. To meet new people. To learn about myself. So really, (and I know this, I just need to be reminded of it), I know that I owe no one an explanation, no justification for this or that. That this thing, it is what it is. I'd say it's a pretty accurate reflection of what's going on for me at the time, my mood and emotions, my feelings and observations. Perhaps it's all more me, just needing to be more confident, with all of this.
And in time, I hope I get there. The more practice, the better I will feel about it all, I suppose.



k.r.i.s.t.e.n. said...

i think you're pretty open about your posts, but maybe that's because i know who you're writing about. it def does take confidence to write openly.

Aaron said...

Hello Meg. My name is Aaron. Nice to meet you. :P

Write about whatever, whenever. This is your blog, not ours. Now, if you want to write about your adventures in online dating *shameless plug*, that's cool. If you want to write about spilling coffee on yourself because you were checking out a guy, that's cool. If you want to write about burning your neck with the curling iron, that's cool. If you want to write about something totally spontaneous not unlike what I mentioned above, that's cool too.

See, even your commentators can be indecisive. ;)

e.b. said...

I struggled some with that as well, while I was open about my name and identity, I shared the site with no one, for a long time. One day I decided I had nothing to hide and sent the link to a dozen or so friends with a bold preface. The time may come when you feel that need - or not. It is all about you, your feelings, your writing and what feels write (right). Good luck Meg!

Ally said...

So are you feeling better now?

I think that blogging, like anything new, is something that you kind of figure out as you go. Obviously some things aren't just ours to share, but otherwise, I think it's up to our individual level of comfort.

brookem said...

kristen- that probably makes a big difference, since you know.

aaron- ha, hi:) no online dating as of yet, but i do have some good stories that perhaps i should begin to share. thanks for the inspiration, and encouragement.

eb- thanks for your encouragement too. one good thing so far about this is that ive met so many great people:)

ally- same to you- thank you. im feeling a LOT better than last week. thank you for asking.

brooke alexandra said...

I worry that on my blog I share too much. Though, if you know me, then you know that's who I am. Though, I do worry what eyes view it. I would hate for my father to read some of my posts. But then, I don't want to live a sensored life either. I pick and choose what I post. I share what I would share with a friend. I believe you are open in your posts, but I also talk to you on a regular basis. You live a great life, don't be afraid to tell it.

The Girl Who said...

Hi there.. just wanted to let you know you're going through the same blogging growing pains we all go through. Sometimes you'll write something and wish you hadn't, other times you write something and love it, other times you'll write something - wish you hadn't and then a year later you read it and you're so glad you have a little piece of yourself from the past..

My advice - when writing about yourself - be as honest as you possibly can. It helps make you a better writer too!

When writing about others, particularly loved ones, you may want to think a bit more about what you say. Either way - it all makes for excellent writing excercises and causes you to analyze yourself in a way you wouldn't were you not a blogger. And no matter what - despite hateful commenters, periods of depression - KEEP WRITING. Because of some terrible people, I've recently shut off comments on my blog.. but I'm still writing.. Who cares about the anonymous?

Nice to meet you, virtually.

The Girl Who

brookem said...

Brookelyn- Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily want my Dad seeing some of what I write either. Thank you for your kind words :)

The Girl Who- It's nice to meet you! I'm sorry that there are some asses, that made you have to turn your comments off. I've been catching up on your posts. Thanks for your insight and encouragment.

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