Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The big C

Earlier today I wrote a whole post about cancer. And how much it fucking sucks. And how unfair it is. And everything I hate about cancer. And then I accidentally deleted it.

Which, I'm taking as a sign. Perhaps my post about my disgust with cancer wasn't meant to get out there. I don't know. Maybe I just needed to vent and now it's time to let that all go.

Someone in my family, someone who means the world to me, has been affected by cancer, again. After ten years of breast cancer remission, the nasty bitch is back. And it's all sorts of unfair and crazy and just not right. But we all know, life isn't fair, life is fragile, all of that stuff. I know this. I know that bad things just do happen to good people. She even said herself to me tonight over dinner, "we aren't asked if we want cancer." It's not a choice we're given. We have no say. It just happens.

No it's not fair, but really, life just isn't. So all we can do is deal. Deal with the cards we are dealt, even if they wicked suck, and just hope and pray and keep faith. What is our other option, really? Sit and be bitter and pissed and angry? I guess we could do that. We're all entitled to that. And you can bet your ass that there were swears and tears and frustration the other day with the most recent news. But as I've mentioned before, life is just so unpredictable. We just never know. One day things can be totally great and happy and sweet, and then just like that, everything can change. Right in front of our eyes.

It can only go to show, that we must open up our eyes a little more. Try with every healthy bone in our body to live each day to the absolute fullest. Be thankful for what we've got, do not take one second for granted. Realize that the life that we know and are so used to and comfortable with right now, can change, all in a matter of seconds.

What is our other option?

25 comments:

Ms. F said...

Be Strong!

Jordan said...

Amen sister.. so true. In the blink of an eye.......

We need to cash reality checks often, to keep us focused..

Airam said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this news. I'll pray for her and for you.

Live, laugh, love. As far as I'm concerened the most important elements of life.

Kate said...

i'm sorry for your family. cancer is a terrible thing to go through. i know. my sister was diagnosed at the age of 15 and it forever changed all our lives. just be there for each other. that's all you can do. my thoughts are with you all. stay strong.

jeorg said...

yeah, cancer sucks. brookem, just hold her hand and take comfort in your love for each other.

brandy said...

Ouch, I hate that kind of news, and I'm sorry you had to hear it. I'm going to send some good thoughts your way...

LaLa said...

Ugh, cancer really is a mother#$@%er. It's not fair and sucky and anyone that goes through it once has paid their dues. All the best.

appletini said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
appletini said...

I am sooo sorry. That really sucks!! I will definately keep her in my prayers.

PeeJ said...

Awww Meg, sorry to hear about your nearest and dearest suffering. I've lost 5 relatives to the damned curse of Cancer, and am doing a half marathon in August to raise money for the hospital in Wales that my grandmother died of cancer in. It's all we can do, keep plugging away, keep hoping that one day cancer will be about as life threatening as the common cold. Here's hoping.

Peej
x

brookem said...

thanks so much for everyone's kind words. it means so much to have this kind of support from all of you! you all rock.

The Exception said...

Hang in there. I am experiencing the same thing. In our situation, there is no cure so... it is a matter of hoping the drugs continue to work and science continues to evolve. We are all committed to focusing on experiencing the highest quality of life possible. Laughter and high spirits truly do make a difference. Just know you aren't alone.

Ruby said...

I'm sorry to hear about this, I wish you and your person well...stay strong chickpea!

Beth said...

I am so sorry to hear that. I came across this blog a few weeks ago written by a woman who is battling breast cancer. I thought maybe you would be interested in checking it out.

http://abreastory.blogspot.com/

Mel said...

So true! My grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer...and then years later with throat cancer (which is almost always fatal). He survived both, a literal miracle, and has a new found love for life. He is traveling across the US visiting every family member he has and drinking all of the very expensive wine in his large wine cellar.

Life is so special....we take it for granted so often. :(

Trixie said...

sorry to hear the news. :(

my thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved one.

life isn't fair (DH's parents both died from cancer) and all we can do is live each day to the fullest and try to deal the best we can.

{hugs}

e.b. said...

Best wishes to you and your family.

Jenna_Russ said...

thinking of you, sweetie.

Melissavina said...

I wholeheartedly agree... I recently received a giant dose of perspective when my roommate came home from a visit with her young friend in the hospital. He's a teenage boy who can no longer walk, has lost his hearing, can no longer eat and is getting a feeding tube soon... he said God is good to him because he still gets to enjoy baseball and friends.
Wow. Talk about living our lives to the fullest, huh?

egan said...

I don't believe there is another option. Enjoy what time we have with our loved ones. Good luck with everything Brooke.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

You've said a mouthful. Cancer is so unfair and HORRIBLE!! I watched my father waste away due to cancer and it was heartbreaking. I wish to God we could cure ALL forms of cancer. I pray for that day.

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry brookem :(

After studying cancer for the past semester... it's intricate and complex and the most difficult thing to understand science wise and personal-wise. Cancer has taken away some amazing people - but even more have fought it and won.

I'll be thinking of yours as I do mine.

brookem said...

thanks again to everyone for the overwhelming show of support. what a wonderful blogging community you all are!

B said...

I totally understand I am going through this within my family as well it happens fast and it is exhausting- I am trying to stay positive I believe in that

I'll send you good thoughts

Aaron said...

I lost both my grandfathers to lung cancer. Other assorted family members have had their fare share with it, too.

On the whole "life isn't fair" bit: when I really think about it, I'm glad life isn't fair. I think if it were, a lot of us might deserve worse than what we've got. Or, that's just my perspective.