the before, where it's still really good.

When it's at it's best, it can be really good. It's all about firsts. First phone call from him, first voicemail, first time out together, first kisses. Planning. Outfits, fun outings. How to wear your hair. Purchases. New undies, thongs. New shoes. A manicure and soon to be regular pedis. Excitement. Looking forward to your evening calls, to doing new things together, planning to try new things together, anticipating them.

Gushing to your friends about it all the next day. Where he took you, how he had it all planned out and how you liked that. A guy that has a plan in mind = good change for you. You tell them how funny he is, how the conversation just flowed. How you kissed him first at that martini bar and how good that felt. You're excited but don't want to be too excited. Because you know about jinxing and you don't want to do any of that. But you still share the details. How cute you thought it was when he made conversation with the cab driver, how he asked you questions and seemed genuinely interested in your life, your family and friends. How he asked for a story about each of your rings. It's a new kind of feeling for you and a good one at that. You share details about how you liked how he was donning not white gym socks, but appropriate, man socks, with his man shoes. How he said he liked your lipgloss.

When it's new and going well, it's fun and exciting. It's about the anticipation and the novelty of it all. Learning someones little quirks, him learning yours, and the realization that things are actually going well. Maybe even somewhere. Perhaps. Who knows? But it's fun.

When it's not as much at it's best, but when it's the opposite, it's not fun. When it's at it's worst, and I'm talking about new dating, not relationship stuff here, it's all the opposite. It's turned somewhat into another type of the waiting game. Because plans aren't being made they are being canceled. And phonecalls in the evening aren't happening, not with him at least. With your friends, asking if there's any update? Have you talked? But you haven't heard, from him, still. And now it's gone from two fun weeks of new undies, new shoes, plans, and dates, back to what once was.

Which isn't bad at all. It never was. You've loved single. In fact you're more used to the before than the two week time frame of fun with him. Which doesn't take away from the fun you did have, because you did. Have fun. With him. For that time it was good. Real good. New, and nice. And if the nice and the new kept going on, kept going good like it was and continued so for some time, then you would be willing to reevaluate the before. The single. For the right timing, person, and circumstances, you would let the before go. It's just a feeling when you know it's right, and that feeling has to be there.

Anyway.

And although it seems weird and you don't understand it, all the analyzing in the world, with your girlfriends over martinis on a weeknight, isn't going to make that phone ring. It doesn't really answer the questions you're asking. It will leave you tipsy and probably a little resentful. Because you end up questioning yourself and him. And we all know how this goes after three key lime martinis. It goes no where good. You know you should just take the time for what it was, fun and new and exciting. You have new shoes to show for it, some fun times behind you and some happy little memories to deposit into the dating bank. And well, it's in the past now and you're back to square one. Which is all very fine because square one, you're used to. Square one is familiar territory.

Because who knows, maybe he'll call you tomorrow, or next week or in a month. Or maybe not at all. But waiting for it or willing it to happen doesn't make it happen. And there may very well be a good reason. You hope so at least. That nothing is seriously wrong or anything like that. Because bottom line, it just is what it is.

This is dating and at it's best it has potential to be exciting and fun.

At it's worst it at least reminds you that the before was really good too.