the before, where it's still really good.

When it's at it's best, it can be really good. It's all about firsts. First phone call from him, first voicemail, first time out together, first kisses. Planning. Outfits, fun outings. How to wear your hair. Purchases. New undies, thongs. New shoes. A manicure and soon to be regular pedis. Excitement. Looking forward to your evening calls, to doing new things together, planning to try new things together, anticipating them.

Gushing to your friends about it all the next day. Where he took you, how he had it all planned out and how you liked that. A guy that has a plan in mind = good change for you. You tell them how funny he is, how the conversation just flowed. How you kissed him first at that martini bar and how good that felt. You're excited but don't want to be too excited. Because you know about jinxing and you don't want to do any of that. But you still share the details. How cute you thought it was when he made conversation with the cab driver, how he asked you questions and seemed genuinely interested in your life, your family and friends. How he asked for a story about each of your rings. It's a new kind of feeling for you and a good one at that. You share details about how you liked how he was donning not white gym socks, but appropriate, man socks, with his man shoes. How he said he liked your lipgloss.

When it's new and going well, it's fun and exciting. It's about the anticipation and the novelty of it all. Learning someones little quirks, him learning yours, and the realization that things are actually going well. Maybe even somewhere. Perhaps. Who knows? But it's fun.

When it's not as much at it's best, but when it's the opposite, it's not fun. When it's at it's worst, and I'm talking about new dating, not relationship stuff here, it's all the opposite. It's turned somewhat into another type of the waiting game. Because plans aren't being made they are being canceled. And phonecalls in the evening aren't happening, not with him at least. With your friends, asking if there's any update? Have you talked? But you haven't heard, from him, still. And now it's gone from two fun weeks of new undies, new shoes, plans, and dates, back to what once was.

Which isn't bad at all. It never was. You've loved single. In fact you're more used to the before than the two week time frame of fun with him. Which doesn't take away from the fun you did have, because you did. Have fun. With him. For that time it was good. Real good. New, and nice. And if the nice and the new kept going on, kept going good like it was and continued so for some time, then you would be willing to reevaluate the before. The single. For the right timing, person, and circumstances, you would let the before go. It's just a feeling when you know it's right, and that feeling has to be there.

Anyway.

And although it seems weird and you don't understand it, all the analyzing in the world, with your girlfriends over martinis on a weeknight, isn't going to make that phone ring. It doesn't really answer the questions you're asking. It will leave you tipsy and probably a little resentful. Because you end up questioning yourself and him. And we all know how this goes after three key lime martinis. It goes no where good. You know you should just take the time for what it was, fun and new and exciting. You have new shoes to show for it, some fun times behind you and some happy little memories to deposit into the dating bank. And well, it's in the past now and you're back to square one. Which is all very fine because square one, you're used to. Square one is familiar territory.

Because who knows, maybe he'll call you tomorrow, or next week or in a month. Or maybe not at all. But waiting for it or willing it to happen doesn't make it happen. And there may very well be a good reason. You hope so at least. That nothing is seriously wrong or anything like that. Because bottom line, it just is what it is.

This is dating and at it's best it has potential to be exciting and fun.

At it's worst it at least reminds you that the before was really good too.

thoughts of my day

this post inspired me to whip up a list of my own...

thoughts that i have had today.

here you have some of the wild stuff that goes on inside my crazy head:
i wish it wasn't going to rain this weekend
i really want some new shoes. like asap.
peep toe pumps specifically.
i wish i was made of money
there are two concerts i want to see
nelly furtado and jt
i have not enough money to afford both, let alone probably one
why is he staring at me?
way too much perfume lady!
you need to shave
would he change his mind now, if i asked to get a kitten?
not having my morning coffee really sucks
why can't i write like her?
i really need a haircut
do brown and grey go together?
i wonder if heidi is still living with spencer...
i wish i had tivo to tape alec baldwin on the view tomorrow
i'll be 25 next week
how come people view evites and don't respond?
i haven't been to one of my favorite martini bars in a while, we're overdue
i want to hangout with david schwimmer
i wouldn't be able to function well, at all, without my ipod gabes.
eb's wishlist that time was really cool.
i wish i had the power to transport myself from one place to another
because i hate traffic.
why hasn't he called?
she's really lucky
this shirt shrunk
i need a mani/pedi combo, thanks
that library book from last year is really overdue, still
im excited for grey's tonight
but im going to miss it.
a simple thank you to my birthday message to him would have been appropriate.
i need to stop picking my nails when i'm nervous. it's really kinda gross.
my skin's dry
i wish i could go to that beer tasting with them tonight that i told them about
i really don't want to stop and get grapes for tonight
i could fall asleep right now. for the night, and it's 6:20pm

The big C

Earlier today I wrote a whole post about cancer. And how much it fucking sucks. And how unfair it is. And everything I hate about cancer. And then I accidentally deleted it.

Which, I'm taking as a sign. Perhaps my post about my disgust with cancer wasn't meant to get out there. I don't know. Maybe I just needed to vent and now it's time to let that all go.

Someone in my family, someone who means the world to me, has been affected by cancer, again. After ten years of breast cancer remission, the nasty bitch is back. And it's all sorts of unfair and crazy and just not right. But we all know, life isn't fair, life is fragile, all of that stuff. I know this. I know that bad things just do happen to good people. She even said herself to me tonight over dinner, "we aren't asked if we want cancer." It's not a choice we're given. We have no say. It just happens.

No it's not fair, but really, life just isn't. So all we can do is deal. Deal with the cards we are dealt, even if they wicked suck, and just hope and pray and keep faith. What is our other option, really? Sit and be bitter and pissed and angry? I guess we could do that. We're all entitled to that. And you can bet your ass that there were swears and tears and frustration the other day with the most recent news. But as I've mentioned before, life is just so unpredictable. We just never know. One day things can be totally great and happy and sweet, and then just like that, everything can change. Right in front of our eyes.

It can only go to show, that we must open up our eyes a little more. Try with every healthy bone in our body to live each day to the absolute fullest. Be thankful for what we've got, do not take one second for granted. Realize that the life that we know and are so used to and comfortable with right now, can change, all in a matter of seconds.

What is our other option?

I Believe

I believe in tipping appropriately. Extra well for good service. And treating waitstaff with respect. I also believe in sending food back if it's not how you ordered it.

I believe in staying in my pajamas, not showering, lazing around, in bed, all day. Sometimes with wine. And a good friend, or a good man.

I believe in the power of a sincere apology. And telling those that are nearest and dearest "I love you," often. And that it's never too late to do or say either of these things.

I believe that there is a time and place for everything. Humor is very necessary, but inappropriate in some situations.

I believe in seeing a good chick flick at least once a month. And girl time. Often.

I believe in dessert, and working out a little extra for it.

I believe in karma. What goes around comes around. I believe that the good that you put out to the world will come back to you.

I believe that we are affected, at least in some way, by every person that we meet. I believe people come into our lives for a reason.

I believe that in the end, things will all work out as they are supposed to.

I believe in positive thinking. I also believe in self fulfilling prophecies. If you say you are going to have a shitty day, you probably will. And the law of attraction, I believe in that, big time.

I believe in wearing sunscreen. I also believe in baking in the sun for hours, but not without sunscreen.

I believe that I have been truly blessed with a wonderful family, amazing friends, a roof over my head, and a little extra cash each month to go spend on accessories. For these things, I am immensely grateful.

I believe that pets can really understand us, our moods, and our funks.

I believe that the way a guy treats his mother says a lot.

I believe in an afterlife.

I believe that life is what we make of it. And that choice has a hell of a lot to do with it all.

I believe that once something truly hurtful is said or done, it cannot be taken back.

I believe that everyone has a story to tell. Sometimes elderly people especially.

I believe in having a smaller meal before going out to get a better, and quicker, and cheaper buzz.

I believe in chemistry. I believe that physical attraction is not everything, but it's very important.

I believe in using my fingers to add or subtract.

I believe in the importance of spending time alone, with just yourself. And the rejuvinating effect that can have. And I believe in being independent.

I believe that one can not possibly, fully understand the depths of another's heartache unless they have walked a mile in their shoes.

I believe that one can never have too many shoes. Or accessories. Or purses.

I think that everyone, unfortunately, will be affacted first hand, or know someone, a friend of a friend even, by cancer.

I believe in the healing power of a warm emrace. I believe that my mom will always be able to make the shittiest day better.

I believe that people should take risks. Do things that they have always wanted to do, even if they're scary things. To step outside of the box, out of the norm, the everyday mundane, and just live on the wild side. Even if that means highlighting your hair, getting a tattoo, traveling alone, or getting your ears pierced. Do it. Dare to take risks.

I believe that women are meant to have curves. And that curvy=sexy.

I believe in the turn on ability of Van Moorison playing in the background, while drinking wine, smelling yummy cologne, with candle lit ambiance.

I believe in really listening when talking to someone. Trying not to focus so much on what I want to say next and really, really listening.

thinking blogs

Thanks to of my new favorite reads--Melissavina, for nominating me for a Thinking Blogger Award!

The only rule that goes along with accepting this award is to now list five blogs that "make me think."

Well I can't do it.

It's not that I can't list five.
It's that I can't list only five.

So. Instead, look over there to the right and see what I Check Out.

Because you should too.

the waiting game

There's not a whole lot worse than a single girl, waiting around for a guy. You make plans with someone, think that they are pretty confirmed based on a phonecall the night before to the tune of, "I miss you and am looking forward to seeing you." Would make sense then to pretty much assume the get together is in fact, well, happening. Until it doesn't. Until it's 8:49PM on a Tuesday night, you were supposed to get dinner, and instead you're watching E True Hollywood Story, with your cell phone under you, on vibrate. You figuring if you have it on vibrate you'll at least be able to feel it. Because if it's just on ring, well you might not hear it, and then, holy god, miss his call.

But you don't miss his call. Because it doesn't come. Until 2AM that night. But it's not a call, it's a damn text. "I had to work a double. Sorry I didn't call sooner." You're pissed now because your phone is still on vibrate and the damn text has woken you up. You throw your phone and knock over a picture of you and your girlfriends on a boat last summer. Shit.

I've done this. I've been this girl, and really who hasn't? Haven't, at some point in time, all women been this girl? It's pretty much a fact. We've all been there. In some way or another. Waiting on a guy. We do this. And then we do it again, even after a time when we swore we'd "never wait for a guy again." There we go, again. The waiting. Hoping for a different result, round number 11.

The result is the same every time.

It's at some point in the waiting game, that we remember how cute he is. And how the last time we were together he said he liked the smell of your shampoo. "What is it, coconut?" he asks. You remember his yummy smelling cologne, and how you just couldn't get enough of it, and him. And you remember how he sweetly pushed your hair out of your eyes, how he pulled you into him during a really great hug, and you remember the sex.

But while you're waiting, and remembering, all that stuff, it slowly begins to fade away. There those good memories go, slipping away with the minutes that he hasn't called, still. At first it's what gets you excited. And what keeps you excited, anticipating that vibrate of the damn cell phone for a while. But as hours pass, you're halfway through a bag of Pirates Booty, and two hours into the Janice Dickinsin, True Hollywood Story, you begin to sort of dislike the things that you were remembering, and thought just hours ago were ohsofreakingcute.

No, it's not coconut shampoo, dumbass. And he always wore so much effing cologne. Doused in that stuff. And your hands are rough, please don't touch my face. You begin to remember how you felt suffocated when he pulled you in tight like that during that half-assed hug. And the sex? Yeah, it wasn't that great, really.

And this happens. This waiting game that we do as girls. And at a certain point, enough is enough, right? At some point, a line must be drawn. You will no longer wait around for his call. Won't not make plans on a night when you think you might have them with him. You will no longer look forward to his calls, because you know they will be laden with excuses of late nights at work, family commitments, watching the game with friends... all instead of calling you. Getting back to you. Keeping plans, with you.

And one day, all of it clicks. You realize you are worth more than waiting around for a guy who makes promises that are forever unfulfilled. You realize that the idea that you have in your head of this guy is a complete farce. Yeah, he may be nice and sweet and ohsocute in the moment, but when it comes down to it, where's the real meat of the matter? You realize you deserve so much more than a guy who can't fit you into his schedule. You realize although you don't want an always available man, you do want someone who will make time in his life for you.

So the waiting thing? After quite some time, after many consumed calories, empty wine bottles, and swearing off the vibe option on your cell phone, you realize, the waiting? It's way overrated.

Interviewed

I've been "interviewed" by Brandy.

1. If you suddenly possess an extraordinary talent in one of the arts that you don't currently have, what would you choose?
--Hmm.. maybe musical talent. I love music so much, going to live shows, finding new random bands, etc. I would love if I had a voice that could be taken out of the car or shower.

2. How do you deal with anger?
--Really, I seldom get "angry." Obviously there's those times that I get pissed off, but it usually goes away pretty quick. If something is really bothering me though, I will chew gum. And eat chocolate. Working out always helps too. And I phone a friend. For sure.

3. What is the one accomplishment you are most proud of?
--Probably the fact that I got my Graduate degree at a pretty young age. I had it by the time I was 23. I suppose that's an accomplishment, and one of which I'm most proud.

4. If you could live the life of any fictional character for one day, who would you want to be?
--It sounds cliche, in the whole blogging world to choose this, but I don't care. Carrie Bradshaw. Because look at those shoes! and all the cute outfits! and the MEN! Aidan and Big and Berger. Uh, so yeah. I'd pick her.

5. Why do you blog?
--I started blogging just to actually have more a commitment to writing. A venue of sorts to get my thoughts and observations just out there. A place where I would devote time, regularly to actually pursue a longtime passion of mine. And in the process, I've met some really great people, with similar creative interests which has been really cool. Blogging also helps me to see what the hell I'm trying to do, think, say, etc. Getting it out there in writing often helps me to gain some more perspective on things. And in turn, see other points of view which is also pretty sweet.

If you are interested in participating, here are the rules:
Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”
I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Tragedy.

I keep writing, and then deleting. I want to capture my feelings on the tragedy of what happened in Virginia the other day, but I just can't seem to articulate what it is I want to say. I write something, then I'm backspacing it all. I just don't know what to say. It's horrific, isn't it?

It's almost as though Monday never happened for me. I didn't even hear about what happened until Tuesday morning. One of my co-workers was looking online at CNN, and there was mention of some shootings and I was completely oblivious. Monday happened and I didn't know a thing about it. I'm a day late in my knowledge of all of this.

Which made me really think. And it makes me sad. And holy hell, it really opens up your eyes to the world around you. The world doesn't stop because you aren't paying attention. Things happen, tragedy and awful, really serious, sad, bad things happen. All around us, every day. Horrific things happen. And while the horrible events of Monday were happening, I was probably internally complaining about a headache on the plane, or my contacts bothering me. Missing my dad already. Wishing the airplane food didn't suck so much. Just wanting my own bed and for the five hour flight to be over. How insignificant and trivial all that is, in the wake of much more tragic, significant things like what has occurred.

It's just awful what has happened. And I don't have the words within my grasp to really capture it all. It's horrible and I can only imagine the pain that these students, the faculty, these families, and their friends are all facing right now. It sure puts minor difficulties in our own lives into perspective when something so tragic happens. Really makes you think about how fragile life is. How in a matter of minutes, circumstances in one's life can totally change.
And things are never, ever the same.

With the coverage every morning since, on the Today show, interviews with students, footage of vigils, photographs of the aftermath, I am keeping these people, those that were directly affected and those that were not... everyone, this country, in my thoughts and prayers during this tragic time.

lake tahoe

these pics really do the scene no justice. it's absolutely beautiful there. one of my favorite places in the world.

"Caution, the moving walkway is empty."

I'm sitting in an airport bar, in Chicago. Do you think it counts as visiting Chicago if I'm just in an airport bar? In that case, I could say I've been to Vegas, Atlanta, and a few other places only by airport association. Hmm. I'm drinking Bud Light drafts. I just started a tab. Why not? I have three hours until my flight. I just checked- it's on time. Snow delays are around me, sucks. People seeming irked that their flight is delayed. I'm starting to get a buzz. Hell, I only had some scraps of a nutrigrain bar hours ago. I'm at Miller's Pub. In front of me is the menu, which after more beer actually looks appealing. Chicken fingers. For $8.50? That's a lot, right? For me it is. Four travelers to my right, mother in law is coming in for the weekend, I curled my hair to fly for the day, group of delayed flight passengers are chatting, loud. About American Idol. They think the judges should have some sort of veto over who is voted off. In Sanjaya's case especially, they say. Who curls their hair to fly for the day? Really? I specifically plan comfy. Hair up, glasses, comfy shoes. Maybe she has a shorter flight. When I fly to NY I dress it up a little more. But still, curl my hair? Shit. The two next to me, they're a couple, are comfy. In clothes and in their way. He just leaned over to her, and wrestle hugged her. Cute. And I'm writing about them. Write now.

It doesn't feel like 11:35am. Shit. I woke up at 5:10 today. To my body, my Massachusetts body, it's 12:35pm. It doesn't feel like that either. It feels like it should be dark. Night. I'm several beers in, and this is what happens when you drink during the day. I remember college Saturdays, or Fridays after class getting out, starting drinking. A beer waiting for me by one of my roommates. Our neighbors already being half bombed. That seems so long ago now.

I want to call people. But all of my contact list are working. I just texted the new guy friend of mine. Yeah, I texted, and we all know my thoughts on that. But, I think what I sent, "I'm drinking a beer right now, sucks you're working," was text appropriate.

Oh wow. A really cute old man just ordered a Bloody Mary and a Gin and Tonic. His wife is over in the corner and she's adorable. I need to look away. This will induce tears.

Oh, oh no. The bartender's boyfriend broke his jaw playing hockey. She just said "snaggle tooth." He can't make out. It's been five weeks. I just saw a picture of his zoomed in grill on her Motorola camera phone. Oh, now she wants me to see a video. Wow.

I guess I should wrap this up. Order some app, or something.

And another beer.

tell me the reason and make it better

Today I'm fidgety. I'm nervous and I feel a little off centered. I feel butterflies and my palms are sweaty. I keep drinking tons of water, and I want chocolate, lots of it. I feel a little nauseous, and I want to be tucked under my covers, with Oprah on my tv. I keep playing with my earrings like I do, when I'm nervous or overthinking about something. I feel off.

I have no real, good, certifiable reason for this feeling. It's out of the blue and it's weird. And it reminds me of the days when my ex and I used to fight, or be in an argument first thing in the morning, about some stupid something, and then it would all seep into my workday. And all day, my mind just could not gain any type of focus. I felt similar to how I do today, back then. Nervous and panicky. I little bit sick. Not totally right.

But there's no fighting. There's no arguments, no discourse. My ex and I haven't talked, I'm not upset, there's nothing wrong. There's no reasonable explanation for this feeling. And I hate that. I need a reason.

I've had two really good dates with my guy friend. That one a couple weeks ago, with the martinis and the adult conversations. Then last night… dinner and chilling at his place. He's all sorts of very nice, funny, and comfortable to be around, complimentary and cute. All those things, he's got all of that. Good, quality things.

And I can't pick out anything wrong. But my overanalytical self just can't seem to help but try to. Why do I do this? Why do I find the need to pick things apart? Tear a good date apart to find something wrong? I'm searching, looking, needing there to be something, but there isn't. Everything has been going so well. I'm happy when I'm with him, he makes me smile, and laugh. The pace is just right. A good, healthy, normal, nice pace. There's not calls and texts and emails all over the place. I don't feel smothered. I feel excited upon the idea of seeing him. Want to see him. Want to plan dates. I am attracted to him.

Maybe it's that I'm used to doing the single thing for so long? This is just the newness and adjustment to it? But what, with a new, good relationship, I am supposed to feel a little bit sick? Off balance? Nervous like this?

Is it that I'm not used to this? In my last relationship, the beginnings consisted of no such dating. No dinner dates, cocktails, getting to know you's. None of that stuff. It was all very intense, very fast, and boom, we were a couple. A serious couple and then it was deep. We were in deep, and it was all so fast. So much emotion, so fast. Too much. Too soon.

Maybe I'm just not used to this. This nice treatment, by a genuine guy? Someone that makes me laugh and that I have actually had good dates with, that leave me looking forward to more? Well that's all a good thing. It should be. It is. But why then, do I feel like I need to find something, something not right? How come the feeling of a little bit off?
What in the hell is my deal? Isn't this totally mad? That I should be feeling this way? With such a good new prospect? Does this mean something deeper? Am I making this into some crazy big deal when I should just be going with the flow and saying fuck it, and just being in the moment? Why is there the nervousness, the butterflies and the uncertainty, and the overfreakinganalyzing?

Why do I do this? Can't I just enjoy a good thing? This is a good thing. Come on!

mini-trippin

I leave in three days for Reno, and I can't freakin wait. I can't wait to see my dad, read a good book, relax, and go here.

I love it there. Lake Tahoe has to be one of the most beautiful places ever. Or at least that I've been to.

Remember the story about this whole situation? Well this will be the first time that I'll potentially see him, since all of that. I already got an invite to go to his place, for dinner with him and his girlfriend. Right, because that would be all kinds of comfortable for me. I would much prefer a coffee or walk or something than a whole sit down meal thing in their place.

And things still seem to be moving along quite well for my dad and his new lady-friend. Who I guess I might meet while I'm there.

Still, so as not to jinx anything up, I think it's at least okay to say that things with my new guy-friend are going well too. He met up with a group of us this weekend for a birthday celebration of my red-headed beauty, and lots of fun was had. We're hoping to get together before I get the hell out of dodge for a few days (who or where did that weird phrase come from??? I just wanted to bust it out but I haven't a clue what it's really all about.)

And that's really the latest. I do believe it's time for a glass of wine and some online shoe shopping.

Mr. Right

Ruby tagged me to do a fiver about myself. Well, I've switched it up a little bit. Because I've already done 42 about myself, and then 58 more. And I think even more after that, and really, aren't you sick of learning stuff about me? Maybe eventually I'll get to it. For now, I decided to switch it up and list five things that I look for my Mr. Perfect to have/possess/wear/do/smell etc.
(This list is in no way in it's full entirety here. And note the Mr. "Perfect," which is the point of this.)

♥ He has to be funny. Have a really good sense of humor, make me laugh, like, a lot. Be witty, and sarcastic. Be able to people watch, and judge with the best of them. Ergo, he must not take himself, or others, too seriously. If I trip and fall, I would rather him first make sure I'm okay, and then laugh at and with me, rather than being all overly concerned, serious-like about the whole scene. And he must like funny movies, actors, and old school SNL skits. Or at least know who starred in some of the best of the best. Any reference he can make from Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, or Stuart (I know it's Mad TV) would really earn him some points. And turn me on.

♥ Spontaneity. And a take charge attitude. None of this, girl: "What do you want to do Friday?, boy: "I dunno what do you wanna do?" or, "you decide, I'll do whatever, I have absolutely no opinion." Screw that noise. I need a go getter. Someone who knows what he wants, and goes after it. Makes things happen. Surprises. Spontaneous acts of romance. Here and there; I'm not saying it's a must, all of the time. But some of the time, yeah. Absolutely necessary.

♥ Plays well with others. Can easily go with the flow. Can deal with a change in agenda. A bump in the road per se, is just that, not some huge issue. Easygoing and carefree. Doesn't upset easily. Shares well. Does unto others…. type thing. Does little things for the woman he loves, ie: buys hot sauce for her even though he hates it, leaves little notes in the bathroom, a goodnight phone call, checks to make sure she has her cell phone and favorite lip gloss for a night out, brushes the snow off of her car. These things, mean something. They mean a lot.

♥ Has passion. About me, obviously, but about other things too. Like music for example. Going to concerts, playing some instrument, seeking out new bands. Or sports. Going to games with friends, watching Sunday football. Basketball brackets. Or art. Likes to write, or appreciates a good book, and maybe likes museums. Or food. Can cook, or likes to maybe, or wants to learn. Loves a good steak. Likes/wants children. Is good with them. Is a good friend. Has a bunch of them, and is known for his accountability to them. Basically, has a passion for something outside of the relationship. Has plans and is busy with things, not just all consuming and conforming to being in a relationship.

♥ Family. Appreciates a good, happy family. Treats his mom well, and women in his life. Wants a family. Wants kids. My family likes him. He's easy to get along with and fits in with my family, and friends. I can leave him at a family party and know he can hold his own with my uncle who wears sunglasses indoors.

♥ Knows how to have a good time. Appreciates a night in, on the couch watching a movie pretty much as equal to going out on the town with friends. Likes to have guys nights. Drinks caffeine, and beer. Is open to trying new things. New places. Loves old places, hole in the walls. His idea of a good time can be just doing nothing, with me. Thinks I'm great.

♥ Can talk me out of mood. Or a funk. And will try to get my funk. Will give me time to cool off if I need it, but not put up with my crap if I'm being silly, overreacting, which I will. Can put me in my place. Will take care of me if I'm sick. Dependable. My go-to guy. For help with my car (I can deal with it on my own, but it doesn't mean I don't want his help anyway). Understands me. And just gets me. We get each other.

♥ Is a kind, genuine guy. Knows it, but is humble. Doesn't have a freakish temper. Doesn't drink a whole bottle of whatever-his-choice-may-be in one sitting. Can drink and hold his own, but knows his limits. Takes good care of himself, and others. Is a good guy. Wholeheartedly.

And that was more than five, I know. And I could seriously go on to probably 28, maybe 32. Lest this make me appear overly nit-picky, let me just state for the record, I am picky. I do admit to that. But I also know what I want. And what I don't want. I know no one is perfect, but the Mr. Perfect for me will end up being my Mr. Right. And one of these days I hope to find him out there.

**And thank you Mel for the "♥" tutorial-I owe you girl.**

date weekend

My dad went on three dates last weekend. With two women! He's a quite a stud that guy. Now the secret is out, where I get my sweet dating skills from. Really though, good for him. He's single and has been for quiiite some time. He's a very independent guy, lived on his own for a while after the divorce, does his own thing, on his own time. I would say he's pretty content with the status quo, but he has mentioned how it might be nice to have someone to do things with. You know, a lady-friend. I can't say I blame him. Although one of the dates isn't going to probably have a second meeting, the other one, apparently went quite well. My dad's pretty quiet about these "type of things," not wanting to talk too much about it all, in case of jinxing it. But it seems like drinks at two bars on Saturday, followed by a walk together on Sunday have things seeming off to a promising start.

And lest this turn into a blog about my father's dating escapades, maybe I should touch upon my date from this past weekend. Which I guess I didn't mention ahead of time? Well, it was good. Really good. I haven't had a good date, with a good guy, in, well… in a longlong time. We all know how this dud turned out, and since then there hasn't been much to report in the dating department.

But Friday was very good! I'm totally my father's daughter here, not wanting to say too much, not wanting to jinx anything. But let's just say, I haven't laughed so much on a date in quite a long time (and maybe drank quite so many martinis, but that's besides the point). What a very nice guy he is too. Very down to earth, intelligent, attractive, witty and sarcastic (which earn him ultra bonus points right there), and genuine. I just get that vibe from him, which is good in light of recent events. All in all, I'd rate this one an 8... pushing a 9/10. Not bad, eh?

wait, what?

no, seriously. what's going on here?